Secret Identities
by September Wolves
Summary: SLASH. Crack parody Bleach version of Mr.&Mrs.Smith. Need I explain further? Humor and crack. Looking for plot? Click and find out.
1. Big Happy Family

**AN: Here's the new fic based on Mr.& Mrs. Smith . Hope you enjoy!**

**Pairing:GrimmjowXIchigo (Ichigo is in his late twenties in this fic and Karin and Yuzu are both in highschool. The children Suki and Sai are both from their previous marriages.)**

**Summary: Ichigo lives a happy life with his lover Grimmjow, their two kids and Ichigo's younger sisters. but underneath the happy appearance, each man has a secret identity. Both men work as assassins for different firms. After a botched assassination, both develops doubts about each other's identities. Then they are each given a new assignment--- take out each other. Will their different jobs tear them apart? Full fo humor and crack!**

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**One**

The sound of birds chirping through the thick double glass window of their second floor bedroom woke Grimmjow at exactly six thirty on every Monday morning. Damn those blasted birds his neighbor insisted on keeping. Grimmjow was not a happy man. He growled at the closed curtains where a particularly concentrated ray of sunlight was streaming into his face. At the sound, the slim figure of his lover stirred in his arms, the head of bright messy hair snuggly pressed against his muscular chest. Brown amber eyes cracked open slowly and lashes fluttered at him sleepily. Ichigo yawned and snuggled closer to the warm body.

"Ngh…s' too early to get up, Grimmjow. Go back to sleep." He ordered softly and wrapped his pale arms around the other male's neck, pressing his face against Grimmjow's neck. The smaller man was jolted from his slumber by the hand that slid between his thighs and amber eyes glazed over as Ichigo groaned softly. "You didn't get enough last night?" he asked as his teal haired lover claimed his lips.

Ichigo parted his legs and moaned softly as the bigger man pressed against him. The fingers entered the thoroughly stretched entrance and Ichigo arched up, meowing against Grimmjow's lips. His fingers found their way to the sturdy chest and gripped Grimmjow's arms tightly as he entered roughly, groaning in satisfaction. The two set a fast pace, Grimmjow trying not to be late for work and Ichigo having something similar in mind. The bed creaked as Grimmjow plunged in and out, Ichigo's body arching up to meet every thrust.

"Hey, big bro, you're gonna be late if you sleep in again… Arg…can't you two hang up a sign before you do that stuff… eww I seriously don't want to see my brother's naked ass at six on a Monday morning." Karin scrunched up her nose at the sight of Ichigo's flushed face as he arched up to his lover. She shut the door and pinched her nose. "Those stupid perverts, there are children in the house for god's sakes…" she skipped down the stairs and pulled the TV watching children over to the kitchen.

Yuzu smiled at her older twin and set a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her. Karin smiled back briefly and pulled the two children onto their baby seats. Suki banged her spoon on the marble countertop with a happy giggle as Karin plopped down next to her. The other child, Sai, stared off into space as he drooled slowly. Yuzu sighed and passed her sister a napkin. Karin wiped the boy's face before setting the milk and cereal in front of the kids.

"Open up, Sai-kun! If you don't eat up, you'll never catch up to your sister!" Karin offered a big smile at he baby boy and he focused his eyes on the older teenager.

"I'm sleepy, Karin ni-chan…last night I kept hearing strange noises…" he mumbled but obediently opened his mouth.

"Ohh! Me too, Karin ni-chan…" Suki turned and focused her attention on the black haired teen. The girl exchanged glances with her twin sister and Karin growled in annoyance while Yuzu ducked her head and blushed. Those stupid idiots can't even keep their doors closed?! At least get some soundproof walls…Karin thought in annoyance.

"Damn it, I'm going to be late. That shower took longer than I expected…" the sound of Grimmjow's voice came from upstairs as the man descended the stairs, Ichigo following behind at a slower pace. They were both dressed in suits and ties, only Grimmjow looked a bit rumpled. The man offered his hurried thanks as Yuzu rushed out and handed him his breakfast and lunch. Grimmjow kissed the two children goodbye before turning toward the door. He was about to yank the door open when Ichigo's slender arms wrapped around waist.

He turned and the orange haired man smiled up at his taller lover. "Your shirt's not buttoned correctly…" he murmured as skilled fingers undid the buttons and slid over the smooth chest in a teasing way before buttoning them again. He straightened Grimmjow's lopsided tie and smiled playfully up at him. "Have a good day at work, love…"

Ichigo squeaked in surprise as the other man suddenly pulled him into a passionate kiss that left his knees weak. Grimmjow grinned wolfishly as he released his stunned lover and gave a mock salute. "I believe I will…"

The door shut behind him and Ichigo watched from the window as Grimmjow got into his sleek blue Lexus and drove off. He glanced at the wall clock and walked into the kitchen, wincing slightly from the soreness in his lower body. He sat down and smiled at the two teenagers and the kids at the table.

"So, how is everyone today?" Ichigo asked pleasantly. Karin leaned over.

"Say, do ya think you guys can get soundproof walls or maybe he can gag you when you guys decide to 'hug'?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Last time I checked, there are still kids in this house, Ichigo nii-san."

The orange haired man blushed at the words and looked away with a cough. Yuzu decided to break the uncomfortable silence in the kitchen and spoke up. "Ichi-nii, Sai and Suki have a parent day event this afternoon at four, so you have to go…"

Ichigo looked up from his plate and frowned. "How come I didn't hear about it?" he mumbled through a mouthful of eggs.

"That's because you and Grimmjow-san were too busy making out on the couch when I told you last Friday…" Karin said innocently as she flipped out her cell phone. Ichigo shot her a look and ignored Sai when he asked what 'making out' was. She rolled her eyes at her brother's attempt not to blush.

"You'd better go. I went last year and Yuzu did the year before that. So it's your turn. Besides, Suki is your daughter and Sai is his son, so you guys should go together." She muttered. Ichigo sighed and glanced at the clock.

"Oh ok. Sorry I was so busy last time, kids." He leaned over and kissed the children on their foreheads before making his way upstairs again. After making sure no one was outside the door, Ichigo yanked the mattress of the bed up and pulled out the metal box from its spot in the secret case. After typing the passwords in, he pulled out the sleek black gun and shoved it into his belt casually. The orange haired man picked up his cell phone from the charger on the table and stepped out of the house after saying goodbye to the kids. Ichigo made his way over to his white mustang parked snugly in the garage and climbed in. The drive to work took twenty minutes. The elevator to the twentieth floor took three minutes and Ichigo made his way across the fancy lobby as fast as he could without running. The door opened for him and he stepped into the private office, the secretary murmured something about being late as Ichigo rushed into the expensive double doors.

"You are fifteen minutes and twenty seven seconds late, Kurosaki." The steely voice made Ichigo wince as he lowered his eyes to the ground. His boss clicked his tongue and stood up. Byakuya motioned for the redhead at his side to open up the shiny black case on the edge of the table. "You have another assignment. It is very important and very complicated. I am trusting this particular job to you because I believe in your skills. Now, about the contents of this task. go to the coffee shop on Fifth Avenue at noon and sit at the sixth table to the left of the door. Someone will be there to give you the details. There will be other firms trying to compete with us, but I believe you will get it done."

Ichigo nodded absently and pulled on his gloves before opening the case. There was a mini silver revolver with six shots loaded, a wig, a hand mirror and makeup kit and a black silky material that looked suspiciously like a dress. He didn't comment on it, though. Years of experience taught him not to question his boss' motives, especially if he was late for work. Ichigo had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like the job this time. Sure he was skilled at killing from a distance but there was no way he wanted to have anything to do with that dress and wig. Renji cleared his throat and gave Ichigo's shoulder a tap.

"If you don't have any questions, go back to your position." He said and Ichigo nodded slowly before carefully shutting the case and making his way out the door. The secretary smiled at him as he stepped back into the elevator. Ichigo waited for the elevator to reach the twelfth floor before stepping out, putting his tag on and making his way over to the mass of people sitting in their own cubicles. He reached his own cubicle and smiled at Rukia, Byakuya's younger sister who was also in the assassin business before sitting down. He turned on his computer and plugged the phone on.

When Ichigo was not secretly earning money by killing off people in higher circles, he worked in his boss' disguised real-estate company. Byakuya had millions of employees from all around the world but only the few that worked for him in secret had really seen his face. Why, may people even thought their beloved boss was a woman!

Ichigo sighed before rubbing his tired eyes. The desktop picture of their small family from last year's snowball fight smiled back at him and Ichigo reached out to touch the handsome face of his lover, a small smile on his face.

"Stop swooning like a lovesick maiden, for heaven sakes. How long have you two been together? Shouldn't you stop acting like newlyweds?" Rukia's head of black hair popped out from next to him and grinned teasingly as Ichigo blushed.

He opened his mouth to retaliate but the phone on his left suddenly rang and he picked up the receiver. "Hello, Kuchiki industries, how may I help you?"

0000

Grimmjow burst through the steel double doors with his suit jacket flapping and breathing like a bull elephant. At the end of the long meeting hall, Sosuke Aizen, his boss, raised a smooth brow. The man coughed and gave Grimmjow a displeased look before gesturing toward the only empty seat next to him. The teal haired man rushed over and sat down, carding a hand through his disheveled hair. A cup of tea was passed to him from Aizen and Grimmjow squinted suspiciously at the murky water. You just never know when Aizen would suddenly slip something into your drink. The man seemed to have read Grimmjow's thoughts and smiled charmingly.

"It's not poisoned Jeagerjaques. Have a try. I imported it from Russia just a few days ago." He leaned forward and steeple his fingers, staring rather creepily at the teal haired man. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked and smiled innocently at the other man.

Grimmjow wondered if this was the punishment for him being late to the Monday morning meetings every week. He glanced around the room. Most of his coworkers were staring off into space with their mouths hanging open slightly and vacant expressions on their faces except Starrk, who was head down on the table and snoring softly. Grimmjow swallowed and picked up the small menacing cup of tea. He swallowed in one gulp and grimaced as the bitter taste flooded his senses. Aizen sat back with a satisfied smile. He clapped his hands to get everyone's attention.

"Now that our favorite employee has drunk his tea, the meeting shall begin." Aizen said with a smile before once again turning to Grimmjow. "Have a biscuit?" he asked politely. Grimmjow blanched and shook his head. The man leaned over again and smiled in that creepy way again. Grimmjow's left eye twitched and he growled.

"Fine! I'll eat your damn cookies!" he accepted the thin piece of biscuit and popped it into his mouth with a grimace. The meeting went like usual. Aizen was a very confident man and he had no fears speaking of their secret identities in the concealed meeting hall. Grimmjow fought not to sleep as he listened to his boss ranting on and on about some new guy they were to take care of. He sneaked a glance at Starrk who was sprawled on his leather chair and snoring enthusiastically. Grimmjow fought off a smirk as Starrk's head lolled onto Ulquiorra's shoulder and the other man gingerly pushed him away with a disturbed look.

The cell phone in his left pocket buzzed softly and Grimmjow snapped out of his daze, pulling the family phone out of his pocket. The text message was from Ichigo and he smirked as he opened the contents.

_Sai and Suki are having a parent day event this afternoon. We have to go at four. I'm expecting you to be there. Oh and don't forget to eat lunch. Meet you this afternoon! Love you~_

_Ichigo_

Grimmjow frowned. The kids were having a parent conference and he had to go this afternoon? But that clashed with Aizen's schedule for him. A cough to his left made Grimmjow turn and he scowled at Nnoitra's smug face. The man leaned over the two men between him and Grimmjow and wiggled his eyebrow.

"So…texting lovey-dovey messages to your lover?" he smirked and glanced over with an interested glint in his eye. Grimmjow ignored him and snapped his phone shut.

"The Sixth will and the First will be going to this event at the Summer House. As we all know, this is an important event and we will be competing against several firms to get the job done. I will trust that Starrk and Grimmjow will manage to kill our target. He goes by the name Akatsuki…" Aizen raised his eyebrow as he scanned the silent crowd. Ulquiorra was unsuccessfully trying to shove the sleeping Starrk away from him and Grimmjow was busy playing with his phone. The man felt his temper rise. He coughed.

Grimmjow looked up as Aizen said his name and gave him a puzzled look. "Whatcha sayin'?" he asked. Grimmjow smacked Starrk on the back of the head as a particularly loud snore came from him. The other man blinked owlishly, looked up and nodded at his boss.

"I understand perfectly, Aizen-sama. We will take out the assigned targets." He mumbled and scratched his head. Grimmjow gave him an odd look and felt new respect for the lazy man.

"How the hell can you listen to a conference while snoring your head off?" he murmured to his left and Starrk smiled thinly.

"Once you've been forced to eat enough tea and biscuits to last a lifetime, you…learn to adapt…" he said and gave Grimmjow a bright smile before letting his head fall back onto the glass table with a loud thunk. Grimmjow grimaced and propped his chin up. It was going to be a long meeting.

0000

Ichigo glanced at the clock on the opposite wall and grimaced. The informant was late. He still had half an hour to get to the parent meet. Then he spotted the familiar green coat and his father's longtime friend, Kisuke Urahara stepped into the shop. The man sauntered over to the table that Ichigo was sitting at, managing to knock over several cups of coffee on other people's tables. The carrot top grimaced and sat up.

"Okey-dokey. Let's get this over with. Information on your new assignment is in here. You have to assassinate a man named Takimoto Akatsuki. There will be a party at the Summer House in two weeks. Prepare for it." He snapped his fan over his face and smiled at the orange haired man across from him. Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Don't you think it will be more secretive if we met in Kuchiki's company?" he asked incredulously. The other man laughed and gestured around at the other people in the restaurant.

"These people are all our agents." Kisuke smirked and stood up. "By the way, your father says 'hi' from Russia. Have fun at the gala, Kurosaki-kun."

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**What do you think? I love Aizen and his creepy self and the tea fetish! lol~ review and wish me luck on my tests tomorrow!**


	2. Parent Day Disaster

**AN: An update! YaH! If you want to see what happens to poor Grimmjow when he gets back, Review and find out! =)** **This part starts at he parent day conference.**

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Two**

Ichigo elbowed Grimmjow in the gut rather hard and his lover elbowed back with a growl.

"What?!" he grimaced as he turned his gaze back to the orange haired man next to him. Ichigo shot an equally heated look back and hissed under his breath.

"Stop staring at her chest, you ass."

Grimmjow smirked at the words and ignored his lover as he turned his eyes back to the ample chest in front of the classroom. Orihime coughed awkwardly as Grimmjow licked his lips and ran his eyes over her curves. She shifted on the high stool where she sat and smiled at the class.

"Well, now that every parent is here, we shall start. Lilynette!" she called out in a clear voice and Grimmjow blinked as he spotted the familiar head of blonde hair and the face-down parent next to her. Starrk's long legs were cramped awkwardly in the tiny seat and his hand almost touched the plush carpets as he snored. Grimmjow rolled his eyes at his coworker and smirked as the small girl smacked her dad on the head. Starrk blinked and sat up, rubbing his head with a hurt expression.

It really is a small world, Grimmjow thought as he leaned back and crossed his arms. The small girl stepped forward and sighed.

"Ok, this is my dad." She pointed to the man and Starrk had his head on the table once again. The girl rolled her eyes. "My dad works at the local hospital. He has nightshifts so he's ALWAYS sleeping and slacking off. He's really boring and fucking lazy. He raises a rainbow rock as his pet. This is the end of my presentation."

Grimmjow chuckled as many of the parents gasped at her coarse language and several women shot Starrk disapproving looks but the man was still asleep on the table. Orihime cleared her throat and stepped forward again.

"Well, let's welcome our next presentation. Suki and Sai?"

Ichigo nudged Grimmjow again and the teal haired man sighed as he leaned forward, the tiny chair creaking under his weight. He watched as their children skipped up to the front of the classroom and smiled.

"My name's Suki and this is my brother Sai. We are going to introduce our parents. They are the ones with the weirdest hair color in here." she pointed toward them with a huge smile and Ichigo stiffened as several pairs of curious eyes turned on him. Grimmjow chose the moment to wrap his arm around his shoulders. The orange head shook him off and coughed in embarrassment.

"my daddy works at the local hospital with Lilynette's daddy as well and daddy loves to eat mommy's cooking when he has free time." She beamed and many parents gave 'awws' and 'how cute'. Suki paused and smiled even more broadly. "Daddy also likes to have wild man sex with mommy when they think we're asleep!"

Ichigo's mouth dropped open in shock as his seven-year-old daughter finished and bowed to the silent room. He sneaked a glance at Grimmjow and saw his lover staring with an equally shocked expression. But Grimmjow recovered faster and smirked, elbowing Ichigo.

The girl cleared her throat innocently and opened her mouth. "Any questions?"

One of the parents screamed.

0000

"So how did it go?" Karin's innocent question made her brother scowl as Ichigo shut the door behind him with a loud click.

"Great, yeah it went great. Now all the other parents think I'm a slutty whore and Grimmjow is a fucking saint whom I managed to seduce." He yanked off his jacket and tossed it onto the couch. "And you know what, he fucking didn't deny it! That asshole."

Karin clicked her tongue in sympathy and threw herself onto the couch. "so where is he now?"

"Back to work, says he won't be returning tonight. Some big surgery or something." Ichigo muttered as he pulled off his belt and pants. Karin rolled her eyes and turned away politely.

"Aren't you a bit old for boxers with pink hearts on it?" she asked before turning the TV on. "By the way, a girl called for Grimmjow when you guys were out. Something about a date with her? He's got another number, maybe you should check it out. My friends say if your man gets a separate cell phone for work, seventy percent that he's cheating on you." She muttered and flipped through the channels.

Ichigo froze on the third step of the stairs and turned back. "Wait… a girl called him?" he asked incredulously. Karin nodded and crossed her legs, eyes focused on the TV. Ichigo narrowed his eyes and climbed the stairs slowly, his mind whirling. It was true that Grimmjow had developed a high interest for breasts lately but was he really cheating on him?

Ichigo walked absently into their master bathroom and turned the lights on. His fingers skimmed over the hot water tap and turned the bath on. The man scanned the bathroom for any sighs of the shampoo and the basket of dirty clothes caught his attention. The bottle of shampoo sat innocently on a white dress shirt. Ichigo crossed the bathroom and grabbed the bottle. He turned to leave when a flash of red caught his attention. Ichigo set the shampoo down onto the counter and frowned as he reached for the crumple shirt. It was Grimmjow's.

The bit of red stood out against the white shirt and Ichigo's eyes widened as he saw the set of perfect lip prints. The orange haired man felt his heart lurch in his chest as he sniffed the shirt. The strange scent of women perfume reached his nose and Ichigo narrowed his eyes, feeling his temper begin to rise. Years of experience dealing with seductive women in his career confirmed his fears. Grimmjow had been with a woman.

The orange haired man took a few deep breaths and set the shirt back down, anger swirling in his chest. Ichigo slipped into the bathtub and began plotting his revenge.

Grimmjow was so dead.

0000

"Yeah? You called?" Grimmjow flipped out his new cell phone and squinted at the clock on the wall. He was bored of sitting in the same room as Starrk and staring at the man snore his life away in the hospital emergency staff office. Nnoitra's annoyed voice came through the private line in a bored tone.

"One of the mafia bosses will be arriving at nine tonight, your new short task is to kidnap the boss' daughter and bring her to Aizen-sama. Come by headquarters in ten minutes, we have to go over the information." He said in a slow voice. "Oh, and if you don't want to sample our boss' great tea, I suggest you arrive on time."

Grimmjow snapped the phone shut with a groan and got to his feet. Just great, he had to do the dirty work again. With one last backward glance at Starrk, he made his way out of the office.

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**Review? What do you think? The next chapter will be longer!**


	3. Chapter 3:READ THIS

**AUTHOR'S NOTICE:**

**I really don't know how to continue this fic with this current pairing. Sorry... It's because I was planning this to be IchiXGrimm pairing. I don't mind the other way around when I read but I really prefer to continue writing this with Grimmy uke... Choppy Chopsticks wrote to me and I really think it's true. I would prefer to continue this with choice A.  
**

**Please vote right now if you see this chapter.**

**Which one would you like? (SemeXUke)  
**

**A. IchigoXGrimmjow**

**B. GrimmjowXIchigo**

**C. I don't care, I'll read it either way**

**D. Finish this, then do it the other way around. (By this I mean two versions.)**

Please just include the choice A, B, C, D. in the review if you can. I really would appreciate it. =)


	4. Pass the Damn Salt

**AN: I have decided to continue this like it is. Partially because I don't have time to redo it. Thanks for voting, guys! =)**

**Next chapter will be about Nnoitra and Kenpachi babysitting together. I find that highly amusing...**

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Three**

Grimmjow glanced at the numbers flashing on the luminous display of his cell phone screen and groaned. It was two thirty in the morning. Not quite late enough to spend the rest of the night awake and not quite enough for him to chance going back home. For a moment, the man sat in the car and just stared off into space. Somewhere off a dog barked.

"Fuck this…" Grimmjow growled as he pulled himself out of the car and grimaced as a shot of pain went through his bleeding arm. The bitch he had been assigned to kidnap had been a bit too good with knives and he had managed to get himself cut. The pale white dress shirt was soiled by the dark blood and Grimmjow grabbed his bleeding arm, clenching his teeth as he wrapped it into the jacket before making his way toward the front door of the house. He fumbled for the key and managed to slot it in without dropping it. The house was utterly silent and Grimmjow breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the door. He made his way over to the first floor bathroom and kicked the door open. Grimmjow was about to treat his wounds when the sound of a polite cough made he turn around. The light clicked on in the living room and Grimmjow felt his heart hammering in his chest as he called out.

"Ichigo?"

There was no reply and the sound of footsteps coming closer made the man freak out. He slammed the door shut with a loud bang and turned the lock.

"Oh, so you're not even going to say hello to me before you come barging in, you asshole." Ichigo was definitely not in a good mood. "Arg! Don't you dare ignore me when I'm talking to you! How dare you lock the door! Grimmjow Jeagerjaques!"

The teal haired assassin groaned and held back from banging his head against the wall in sheer frustration. "Ah, I'm kinda busy right now…give me five minutes." He muttered through clenched teeth and picked out a piece of glass from his arm.

Grimmjow dumped a bit of disinfectant on the bleeding flesh and wrapped the heavy roll of bandages over his wound with a groan of pain. The sound of Ichigo suppressing a scream of anger made him flinch.

"That's it. You're sleeping on the couch tonight!" Ichigo's angry voice came through the door and he kicked it before stomping off. Grimmjow groaned in frustration and pressed his sweaty forehead against the cool glass mirror. By the time Grimmjow cleaned up all traces of blood and made his way upstairs, Ichigo had already gone back to bed and locked the door. He cursed softly as he stumbled back down the steps and fell onto the couch.

By the time the two children woke him rather violently by kicking his stomach, Ichigo had already left for work. Grimmjow tried his best to be nonchalant as he dialed his lover's cell phone but he was disappointed to find it turned off. Ichigo was definitely pissed. Upon coming up with nothing else to do, the teal haired man ate some breakfast and made his way out of the empty house. (The children had to go to school)

0000

Ichigo scowled at Ishida as he unfolded the dress with utmost care. His thin glasses flashed as he gazed upon his priceless creation. The black silk dress was a revelation but Ichigo didn't find it anymore attractive than the wastepaper basket next to the door. Ishida coughed and gave a sharp snap of his fingers.

"Alright now, I'm sure you're familiar with the whole mission by now. Let's try out the disguises first so you will be familiar with them by that time." Ishida pushed his glasses up and gave Ichigo a piercing look. The orange head turned toward the briefcase Kisuke had given him yesterday and frowned. He had been so caught up with the suspicion that Grimmjow had been with a woman that he'd forgotten to check out the mission report. He gave the dark brunet an embarrassed smile and unlocked the case with ease.

"Hang on, Ishida. I forgot to go over the thing yesterday." The other man clicked his tongue and turned to the sewing kit next to him. Ichigo sighed as he fell against the leather chair in Ishida's office. His eyes scanned over the thin paper and he bolted from the chair with a look of outrage.

"Byakuya's asking me to cross-dress?!" he snarled at the brunet. Ishida pushed up his frames and gave him a look. He turned and ignored the seething orange top. The door opened at that moment and Ichigo turned to face the subject of his anger. Byakuya strolled in casually, dressing in a stunning white suit. But Ichigo merely felt even more annoyed. He crossed his arms and Byakuya smirked as he daintily pulled off his gloves.

"I trust you will get it done…Ichigo-san." He turned his piercing eyes to him and Ichigo rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"You'd better pay me enough for this shit." He muttered as he turned to Ishida. Ishida turned on the advanced computer with ease. His fingers slid over the screen and typed in the password. An unopened file appeared on the screen and Ishida clicked it and started on the details.

0000

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was not a happy man. He glared fiercely as Starrk bent to search through the messy desk at work. The other man ignored the impatient growl and scratched his head calmly.

"It's here somewhere…" Starrk muttered as he turned to another messy pile. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. It was the tenth time Starrk had lost his card key. Hwy was it so important? It was the only thing that could get him access to the top floor of their medical building. It was where Aizen held their usual Monday meetings. Grimmjow stretched and yawned. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night.

"Ah, here it is." Starrk stood with a small smile as he wiggled the card in front of Grimmjow's face. The teal haired man snatched the card and stood. They made their way up the elevator and into the lobby. There wasn't anything noticeable on the top floor except for the set of steel doors leading inside. Grimmjow walked over and slipped both their cards into the slots.

"Access to secondary level security. Please enter passwords."

Grimmjow leaned down and typed the long string of numbers. Starrk stood at his side and muffled his yawn.

"Access to third level security. Please step forward for your scans."

Both men rolled their eyes at the tight security and stepped forward. The blue light scanned over Grimmjow's sharp blue eyes and the locks drew back on the thick door.

"Welcome, agent Jeagerjaques and agent Starrk." The metallic voice of the woman sounded through the speaker and Grimmjow tucked his card into his pant pocket as they strolled through another set of glass doors. Aizen's hair was the only dark thing in the room. The walls, tables, computers were all pure white. Even the floor. Starrk whistled.

The boss stood casually and made his way over. He drew out two seats and smiled. "lets get the details over with then, shall we?" The wall computer turned on and Aizen clapped his hands to turn off the lights.

"Now, in two days time you will both be attending the party at the Summer House. I had a set of blueprints on the layout of the entire foundation sent to your phones. You will both be wearing a set of communication devices and weapons. Of course in order to keep them by your side, I will have to ask you to hide them well." Aizen turned to the door and motioned to an agent. The man stepped forward and presented the cases of weapons to the two standing next to Aizen. Grimmjow took the light white case and turned to Aizen as he spoke again.

"Your only objective will be to kill Takimoto Akatsuki. Once Akatsuki is dead, you will leave. But I will say this again, no one else is to be hurt. We are only after one target and only one will die. If I had wanted him dead without thinking of the lives around him, we could have merely planted a bomb in the ballroom. Here are two tickets and your fake identification cards. You must slip into your identities and forget who you are. This mission is very important and I'm sure an old enemy firm will be sending to kill as well. Everything, including the suits and equipments will be sent to you later this evening." Aizen turned to give them a searching look. Starrk blinked and nodded. Grimmjow just grunted as he turned to the door.

"All the information you'll need is with Starrk. I wish you best of luck, gentlemen."

0000

"I'm home." Grimmjow called as he stepped inside the house.

"Welcome back Grimmjow-san." Yuzu smiled as she took his coat. The teal haired man smiled back and rubbed her head.

"Where's Ichigo?" he asked curiously as he kicked off his shoes.

"Nii-sama is in the kitchen." She said carefully. Grimmjow nodded and made his way into the kitchen.

Ichigo was wearing a tight black wife beater and a white apron. His back was turned and Grimmjow moved to wrap his arms around the slender waist and pressed a quick kiss against Ichigo's long neck. The other man didn't seem to notice and Grimmjow frowned as he grabbed his shoulders and tuned Ichigo around. The teal haired man smirked and met Ichigo's amber brown eyes as he leaned forward to kiss Ichigo. Grimmjow nearly choked as a spoon was shoved into his mouth, stopping him from kissing the other man. Ichigo smiled sweetly and tipped his head to the side.

"How do you like it?" he asked innocently. Grimmjow frowned in confusion as Ichigo turned and brushed past him coolly. Dinner passed in silence, both children eating with their hands and smearing food everywhere. Occasionally, Ichigo tended to the two children and made small talk to the two teenage girls and asked them about their day. Grimmjow frowned down at his steak as he raised the fork to his lips.

"Ichigo, pass the salt." Grimmjow said nonchalantly. Instead of passing the salt, Ichigo surprised him by cocking his head and giving that oddly sweet smile again.

"It's in the middle of the table. Why not get it yourself?" he asked innocently. Grimmjow looked up and saw the same strange smile on Ichigo's face. His eyes however, were not smiling. There was something angry glinting inside and Grimmjow finally realized he was probably still mad. Karin blinked as silence settled over the table. The temperature seemed to drop a few degrees as Grimmjow met Ichigo's eyes, answering his challenge. They glared at one another and Karin rolled her eyes as she took another mouthful of food before reaching for the salt shaker herself.

"There, your salt. Now stop glaring at each other and eat." She said as she set the thing down in front of Grimmjow. The man turned back to his plate with a huff. The dinner finished in silence and Grimmjow leaned back as he wiped his mouth.

"By the way, I have to stay at the hospital for a week next week so I won't be able to come home for a while." He said to the carrot top that was still eating. Ichigo didn't ask him the reason and Grimmjow didn't stress it either. But then Ichigo looked up and spoke.

"You can't go. If you go who will look after the kids while I'm gone?" He asked. "I have to go with the company to a meeting next week. It's going to be in another country."

"Get a babysitter then." Grimmjow muttered.

"You get one."

"I don't have the time."

"Well then, neither do I."

Karin and Yuzu watched as both men stood with angry expression on their faces.

"It's your kid! At least be a bit more responsible!" both shouted at the same time. Then Ichigo turned and made his way upstairs. Grimmjow sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Sai and Suki gave the man a small frown as they shuffled over.

"Daddy, are you ok?" Sai asked tentatively. Grimmjow sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, guess I'll have to think of something…"

0000 (two days later)

Karin looked up from the couch when she heard the doorbell ring. Ichigo had just left a few moments ago and could be coming back for something he left behind. She made her way over to the door and gave Yuzu a glance as she poked he head out of the kitchen. Karin yanked the door open and blinked. It wasn't Ichigo. The man standing in the door was about half a head taller than Grimmjow and thin as a toothpick, literally. He was wearing a black suit and holding a suitcase. His jet black hair hung around his face in long strands and the narrowed eyes glanced down at her with a frown.

"Are you here to fix the leaky faucet?" Karin asked. The man snorted as he pushed his way inside.

"Hell no." he turned and grinned at Karin as he stepped inside. "The name's Nnoitra. I'm your babysitter for the week."

Karin stared and let the door shut behind her as she followed Nnoitra into the house. The tall man took off his suit and smirked. "Nice place Grimmjow has."

She was about to speak when the doorbell rang yet again. Karin sighed and gave the man a look. "Stay here, I'll get the door."

She made her way back and yanked the door open. There was an even taller man standing in the doorway, his hair fashioned into what looked like spikes all over his head. He was wearing a thick leather jacket and dark black pants with buckles. There was a small girl perched on his shoulder. The man smirked and leaned down. Karin raised an eyebrow.

"Are _you _here to fix the leaky faucet?"

The man threw his head back and laughed before messing up Karin's hair with a large hand. "Good one kid. But no. I'm here because Ichigo called to say he was busy." He stepped into the house and glanced around.

Karin groaned as she slammed the door behind her and walked into the room. Why in the world did Ichigo and Grimmjow both get babysitters? She thought as she moved closer to her sister. Both of them look like they belonged to a butcher shop for heaven sakes!

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**Ichigo has to cross dress! YAH!** _**WHAT DO YOU THINK?**_ **REVIEW! =)**


	5. Demonic Children and Sitters From Hell

**AN:I updated! Yah! Enjoy and leave me a lovely message.  
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Note: Grimmjow has dyed his hair temporarily black and has green contact lenses. He portrays one of the guest. Ichigo had a blond wig on and colored his eyebrows. He's got blue contacts. Starrk is accompanying Grimmjow and is disguised as a waiter. Yumichika is with Ichigo. Hetakes care of the dresses for Ichiho everyday. =)

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**Four: Demonic children and Sitters from Hell**

"We're in but there a change of plan. The cruise has been extended. I'll send you the details by cell." Ichigo's voice came through the ear piece as Kenpachi plopped down by the laptop. He cracked his knuckles and grunted into the speaker.

"Have you spotted our rival agents?"

"Not yet, there are a lot of people here. By the way, how are the kids doing?" Ichigo asked. Kenpachi winced slightly and gave a fake laugh.

"They're great." He said shortly and pressed a hand over the speaker as the sound of the fire alarm started beeping loudly. Ichigo sighed and thanked Kenpachi for his support. The other man shifted uncomfortably and said it was no problem.

"Oh, and one more thing, tell Byakuya I am personally going to maim him when I get back." Ichigo hissed. Kenpachi raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"The outfit giving you trouble? I personally think our boss is just trying to make you squirm."

Ichigo sighed loudly and declined an invitation to dance before turning back to the conversation. "I think I've blinded a few men with my legs already. Why are there so many perverts on board?"

Kenpachi grinned and sat up as someone knocked on the door. "Got to go, don't forget to send me the time tables later. Tell Yumichika I said hi."

He ended the call, erased their conversation and stood up, closing the laptop as he did so. The door opened to the slightly burnt face of Yachiru. The edge of the small Lolita dress was still on fire. He reached out and snuffed it out as he picked her up. It had only been a day since he had come into the house. Ichigo had specially told him not to go through his private things and Kenpachi had stayed him the shared room with Yachiru the whole time.

He descended the stairs slowly, hands running though his hair. Yachiru kept tugging on one strand as she perched on his shoulder.

"Nee Kenny, can I have Nnoitra-chan as a mommy?'

"Nope, but I think he wouldn't mind if you made him your pet." He said as he entered the kitchen. It looked like the oven had exploded and the skinny male currently trying to wash Sai's face looked a bit singed. Kenpachi reached over and grabbed his ass with a leer.

"What the fuck?!" a stainless steel knife embedded itself into the wall next to Kenpachi's face. The man grinned as he gave the ass another slap.

"You still look sexy even if a bit burnt." He offered. The other male flipped him off. Kenpachi reached over and picked up the Suki as she reached out to him. Both girls perched on his shoulder as he watched Nnoitra clean the child's face.

"Can you be my dog, Nnoitra-chan?" Yachiru broke the silence.

"No."

"How about my cat?"

"No."

"My hamster?"

"NO."

"My mommy?"

Nnoitra turned around and shot Kenpachi a dark glare. The man shrugged.

"Tell your 'daddy' I would rather die than be anything related to him."

"Ok, no wife. How about my hot kinky---"

"GO EAT SHIT!" Nnoitra hurled the damp cloth at the annoying man and picked Sai up. he turned and stomped up the stairs wordlessly.

The man sighed as he settled the child in his room and locked his own door. He fell onto the guest bed and pulled out his cell. There were nine missed calls from Grimmjow. He rolled his eyes at the caller ID and dialed the number.

"You owe me big shit." Nnoitra said as Grimmjow answered.

"The hell, man?' came the answering reply.

"Your kids are unholy spawns of hell and the other babysitter you called for is like some lecherous old devil from the pits of hell! What in the world were you thinking when you asked for two sitters?"

"I only called for you."

"Well, you still owe me big. How's the job going? Got your eye on the target?"

"Yeah, but I keep getting groped by women twice my age. They're like large versions of raisins," came the muttered reply. "And Starrk fucking dyed my hair black."

Nnoitra laughed and rubbed his eyes. The doorbell rang and he got up with a groan. "the older girls are back. Gotta go."

"Yeah, I'm out..." Grimmjow said in a clipped tone.

"You're out of what?' the pleasant voice made the man turn around and Grimmjow blinked at the gorgeous blonde woman in front of him.

"…out of wine. Yeah, I'm out of wine." He grinned and swept a hand though his cropped black hair ad tossed the glassful of wine over the balcony. Grimmjow winced when a dismayed shout rang out from below. Some unfortunate guy had been hit. The pale woman raised a finely plucked eyebrow and smiled at him.

"have we…met before?' she finally asked. Grimmjow frowned. The blonde chick did look somewhat familiar but the recent interaction with women had often landed him in bed. He mentally winced when the image of a furious Ichigo came to mind. How was he doing on the trip? Grimmjow turned and locked eyes with Starrk, who was under the guise of a waiter before he nodded. His partner was going to keep an eye on their target for a while.

"It was nice meeting you, my lady." He reached out and took a gloved hand before pressing his lips briefly to her hand. She smiled and he stepped from the balcony to a more private room. Grimmjow pulled out the family cell phone and dialed Ichigo's number. He had memorized it by heart. His lover answered on the third ring sounding oddly breathless. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes.

"How's the trip been? You don't sound like you're on a plane, Ichigo."

"Grimmjow!' Ichigo squealed in delight before coughing and making his voice deeper. "' mean, I'm still mad at you so don't act so cocky."

Grimmjow smiled slightly at the words and sat down at the piano bench. For a few moments, he allowed the enthusiastic chatter to wash over him and closed his eyes, a faint smile lingering on his face. Grimmjow missed Ichigo already even though he would rather die than admit it.

"..change of plans, I might be going back a few days later than planned. Are you ok with that?" Ichigo asked and Grimmjow shrugged.

'Whatever floats your boat, babe."

The door to the dark room opened and a woman's voice called out his fake name. Grimmjow mentally slapped himself as he put his hand over the mouthpiece of his phone, but apparently not fast enough.

"GRIMMJOW JEAGERJAQUES!!! ARE YOU WITH A WOMAN?!" the thunderous words made Grimmjow wince as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. The now black haired man stepped out of the room just as the blonde woman from before slammed the door to the left. She tossed a thick blonde curl behind her shoulder and gave him a dark glower.

"What are you looking at?!"

The man sighed in wonder and allowed his eyes to stray to the long pales thighs of the slim figure in front of him as he followed her into the crowded party room. His eyes stayed firmly on the petite ass as he accepted a glass of red wine. The woman seemed too pissed off to care that every man in a five foot radius was staring at her. Grimmjow's eyes wandered up the pale legs and he took a sip of the drink. It was free anyway, the pale thighs.

Judging by the angry tone, Ichigo was probably going to flay him alive so he might as well enjoy the limited days of staying alive. Grimmjow set the glass down and walked over to the woman.

"Dance with me?" he offered a hand. She looked a bit uncertain before gingerly taking it. Grimmjow ignored the dark glowers from the men around and let his hand rest lightly over her ass. A sharp stiletto jabbed his right foot and he moved his hand to a more appropriate place. She gave him an oddly sweet smile with a hard glint in her pale blue eyes.

If he was going to Hell, Grimmjow was going to fully enjoy the ride along the way.

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**What do you think? Leave a review please!** =)


	6. Flirting Disasters

**AN: Another update! Enjoy and review! I love every one of your lovely reviews! Thanks!**

**Review and I will update sooner! THERE'S SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER... *wiggles eyebrows*  
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**Five: Flirting Disasters**

"So, how old are you, Miyako-chan?" the older man in front of Ichigo smiled as his eyes scanned over thin attractive curves of the blonde chick. Ichigo tossed a thick lock of gold behind one pale shoulder and sent the man a flirty interested look. It was the second day of the cruise and he was currently lounging in the VIP rooms trying to mingle closer to his target. The closeness of the men around him was not helping his task and Ichigo clenched his teeth when a hand strayed too close to his thigh. He moved his leg out of the way just in time. The man's fingers were this close to touching the hidden gun strapped to his thigh.

"I'm twenty-one and single…" he smiled as the man gave him an appreciative look.

"So, the host…his name is Takimoto?" he asked softly as he turned to give the target a glance. The man was tall, bronze –skinned and had a tick mop of coppery red hair and sparkly blue eyes. Ichigo had a hunch the man was just going under an alias. The three bodyguards around the man were probably going to be a bit of trouble. He might break a nail if he punched one too hard and Yumichika would be furious if he messed up his makeup. Ichigo rolled his eyes and accepted a wine glass. It was time for the man to notice him. He had to get closer if he wanted to finish the job when the cruise was done.

"Excuse me." Ichigo offered the man in front of him a charming smile before pushing his way into the crowd. A flash of pink caught his eye and the blond in disguise hesitated, feeling heat creep up into his cheeks. The Adonis from last night was standing close to Takimoto and talking to the man casually, his face was smiling. Ichigo let his eyes wander involuntarily. The man had on a. expensive suit and a very loud pink dress shirt underneath complete with a silver tie.

_The colors would look better on Grimmjow…_ the thought made ichigo frown. He was still a bit angry about the phone call last night when he heard his lover with a woman. The suspicion was eating at him and he wanted to just shoot the stupid target and jump off the cruise ship, go home and beat the shit out of Grimmjow and then finally have hot make up sex.

Ichigo mentally slapped himself and forced a smile onto his face as he approached the men. The expressions on the bodyguards faces were impossible to read behind thick contact lenses but Ichigo ignored them and caught Takimoto's eye before taking a small sip of the wine and licked his lips, tilting his head just right for the chandeliers to catch his lustrous pink lips.

"As I was saying, the company…." Grimmjow frowned as the man next to him stopped speaking and swallowed, his eyes riveted to the crowd. In his small conversation wit the man, Grimmjow had learnt that he was not easily moved by gorgeous women so when Grimmjow saw who Takimoto was staring at so avidly, his mouth had a hard time not to open and drool as well.

_I'm a trained professional…I'm a trained professional…_ Grimmjow took several breaths to stop the dirty thoughts from crowding over in his head. The woman he danced with yesterday was wearing a shoulder less crimson gown with a thick gold necklace, golden earrings and silver glittering stilettos. He winced at the memory last night. The pair of stilettos had taken out a pair of his leather shoes. Grimmjow frowned as aqua blue eyes caught his for a moment and a pink blush appeared on the woman's cheeks before she looked away.

_Ok, don't be tempted, you're a married man for fuck sakes…think of Ichigo…lovely Ichigo arching up to you in bed and moaning…ok that's too much…_Grimmjow forced his internal argument to cease before the images could make him more aroused. It was true that he wanted the mission to be over and go back to his normal life pretending to be a doctor and sit at the breakfast table trying to act decent while feeling his lover up. That was the sweet life but he had to admit there were some similarities in the woman that he found attractive. There was that familiar undertone of fire in her eyes and the way she acted so defiantly was definitely a turn on.

"Oh my goodness…" the words made Grimmjow look down as the blonde chick topped into him, successfully spilling the cold, very cold wine over his shirt and crotch. She added a finishing touch by flicking her wrist and emptying the remaining liquid down his neck. Grimmjow clenched his teeth and shot her a small dry smile.

"And I was just mentioning how thirsty I was feeling…" he grounded out though his teeth. The woman wiped off the strangely frustrated look on her face and gave him an apologetic look. Grimmjow frowned. He had to change, which meant he would have to leave the target for a while. He straightened his tie and pressed the button inside.

"You need backup?" Starrk's voice was soft in his ear and Grimmjow looked down at himself with false cheer.

"Yup, guess I'll need to change a set of clothes…" Grimmjow said loudly.

"Ok, I'm here."

Grimmjow exchanged glances with his partner as he man offered a drink to a lady. Starrk's waiter guise was quite attractive and the ladies crowded around him using an excuse to get a drink to talk to him. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and shot the woman a small smile. She smiled back hesitantly and he leaned down.

"You are such a naughty girl; I'll have to punish you, hmm?" Ichigo tried to suppress the shiver as warm breath puffed over his neck and the man's lips brushed his ear. He straightened and offered Takimoto a small apologetic smile before taking the woman's arm and dragging her off. She seemed hesitant to go and kept staring back at the man still looking at her.

"You know, if you wanted me to notice you, you should have asked instead of dousing me with wine." Ichigo looked up at the brunet next to him and offered a small smile. _Let him think me simple_.

"So why do you need me to come along with you?' Ichigo asked as they stepped into the elevator. The brunet shrugged and whistled cheerfully as he pressed the button. The cruise ship had five floors of expensive gold furnishings and plush red carpets deep enough to swallow a man so Ichigo wasn't surprised when they stepped out into the beautiful hall and the man slotted the card key into a golden holder before pushing the door open.

"Maybe I just wanted to get you in my room and have my way with you?" he smirked and gestured into the room. Ichigo folded his arms over his fake breasts and glared. Green eyes hesitated briefly over the bosoms before turning on the equally attractive face.

"You know, flirting with me when your boxers are soaking wet is not very good." He pointed out and almost bit his tongue. Ichigo had to remind himself yet again that he was on the cruise not for the sake of flirting with the tall gorgeous hunk that was inviting him into his room and was supposed to be keeping an eye on his target. And besides, Ichigo would hate it if the man found out that he was in fact a man in disguise.

"Well maybe you could have a go and find out how good I really am?"

"I don't even know your name yet…"

"You can call me Shino. Come in please? I promise I won't do anything."

"Hmm..." Ichigo gave him a suspicious look before stepping into the room. He sat down on the plush leather sofa and turned just in time to see the man yank off his tie and unbutton his shirt with a grimace. The wine had plastered the shirt to his chest and Ichigo could see a black smudge that looked vaguely like a tattoo over his heart. He frowned and tried to ignore the sudden tension in the air.

The man named Shino casually pulled the shirt over his head and walked into the other room. After a few minutes, he came out dressed in a black shirt and white cargo pants. "So, how about trying me out?"

The words made Ichigo turn a bright red as he looked away. Even though they only met for a few measly hours, he couldn't deny the attraction. This was bad. And he had been the one to scold Grimmjow for having a possible affair when he himself was inches from another man.

_No, do not kiss him! Don't!_ His mind screamed at him to stop but Ichigo allowed the hand to cup his cheek and draw him closer to the man on the sofa and he leaned over, eyelashes fluttering close as their lips drew closer. The moment they met, Ichigo gasped in shock and shoved the man away. There was no way he would not recognize that feeling.

"Grimmjow?!" the words were just a soft whisper of shock. The brunet blinked and froze before letting out a shaky laugh.

"Who is that? Your lover?' he tried to joke but the woman in front of him swallowed thickly and stepped back. Ichigo ignored the words of protest and slammed the door behind him as he stormed down the hall, trying to ignore the panic welling in his gut.

"Wait!" he ran into a nearby room and slammed the door shut behind him with a strangled sob before locking it and sliding down to sit against the door. The room was dark and silent. Ichigo's breath hitched as the footsteps drew closer and the hesitant voice called out to him.

"I may sound like a complete idiot but…is it…it's really you, Ichigo?"

The carrot top stifled his gasp of shock and bit his lower lip, tears cascading down his cheeks in panic. Never in all his nightmares did he expect Grimmjow, his Grimmjow was in the same line of work as him.

"Hey, baby, can you come out and…we should talk…" the words sounded frustrated to Ichigo's ears and he shook his head violently even though Grimmjow couldn't see him. It was so unprofessional of him to blow his cover in such a short time. There was no way he would finish the mission. Byakuya just had to count on someone else. There was no way he was going up against his lover. Ichigo took a careful breath and pressed his face against his hands.

"Heh…so you're the rival agent I was supposed to be wary of, huh? How fucking ironic."

Silence followed the statement and Grimmjow sighed as he tried again.

"Open the door, babe. I'm not going to be mad."

Yeah right, like he was going to believe that. The moment of panic had subsided and Ichigo drew out his mini gun as he shoved a heavy dresser against the door, flicking the lights on as he ignored the loud banging outside. Ichigo ripped off the heavy curtains before wrapping it around his fist and broke the window soundlessly. He took a deep breath and slipped out into the night just as Grimmjow shoved the doors open.

Grimmjow's eye twitched in annoyance as Ichigo turned and flipped him off, mouthing 'screw you' as he climbed out of the window.

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**What do you think?" =) leave a review!  
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	7. 7 Opps

**AN: I updated! Firstly, I'd like to thank all the people that have been following my fics throughout the years, I know I update slow but I will probably stop updating for a while, keep me on alert if you still want to read more! =) I will update as soon as I get my hands free...**

**thanks again. *bows* enjoy! XD  
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**Six**

The atmosphere in the room could have smothered a grown elephant.

Grimmjow glared daggers across the room at the extremely beautiful woman standing on the other side of the room. Ichigo seemed to reflect the poisonous glare without much trouble and was having a lively conversation with a tall blond man. Grimmjow curled his lip at the sight and clenched his fingers around the wine glass. He checked his watch. The cruise would end the day after tomorrow. There was no time let. He had to act tonight or the next day. Bright contacts flickered to the tall form of his target and Grimmjow bit his lip in annoyance. It was hard to ignore the blond man standing a few feet off flirting shamelessly with his lover. Ichigo was responding to the flirting.

He passed the glass of untouched wine to a waiter and sighed as he slipped the tie around his neck looser. Grimmjow walked casually to the men's room and touched his throat mic.

"Starrk, I need some time off. Get your ass over here."

He didn't feel like explaining as he dipped his head into the porcelain sink. Grimmjow washed his face slowly, eyes going over the strange appearance of his disguise. The black hair made him look lifeless and there were dark circles under his eyes. It felt so long ago that he had realized the woman was in fact Ichigo in disguise. He tried to catch the man but it was like trying to hold onto smoke with bare fingers. Grimmjow sighed again and dried his face.

Sometimes, he wondered when he was going to quit the job for good. For a few months he had successfully avoided Aizen's calls and messages but the itch to go on a dangerous mission came back full force. It couldn't be helped. He liked the reckless life.

The door to the men's room swung open and Grimmjow didn't bother looking up. But the sound of sharp stilettos made him look up just in time to see a dart sticking out from his left shoulder. The prick of pain registered in his brain a second later. Bright green eyes darted to the smug face behind him.

"Ichigo?"

Grimmjow tried to grab at the already blurring form but his head felt like it was shutting down without permission. The last thing he saw was the tiled floor rushing up to meet him.

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Grimmjow groaned as something cold slid slowly over his naked chest. He was bound to a large four poster bed and was completely naked. His mouth felt as if someone had taken a toilet brush to it and Grimmjow nearly gagged when water met his lips.

"Shush baby, the water will help clear your head."

The smooth purr made Grimmjow blink in shock and he looked up to see the pale figure still clad in the beautiful dress. Ichigo offered him a slow smile that showed his sparkling white teeth and a cute little canine that proved quite good at making hickeys. He mentally smacked himself and groaned as Ichigo poured the water down his throat.

"Why the fuck did you shoot me?" he gasped hoarsely.

Cool fingers played with the toned chest of his lover and Ichigo smiled with a small bat of his lashes. Grimmjow felt the hair on the back of his neck stand. He knew that look only came out when Ichigo was extremely pissed off.

"I wanted to fuck you." the words were smooth and toneless.

Grimmjow gulped and braced himself. Ichigo slapped him.

"Fuck!" Grimmjow hissed in pain and glared up at the pretty figure. "What was that for?"

"For not telling me you were a damn hired killer." Ichigo pouted and sat down on the bed.

"You never told me either!" Grimmjow spat and was triumphant to see Ichigo wince slightly.

"At least I wasn't cheating on you!" Grimmjow's jaw dropped in surprise when Ichigo's lower lip wobbled. "I saw the lipstick on your shirt!"

"Ah, that was part of the fucking job, damn it." Grimmjow let out an annoyed sound and glared up at Ichigo.

"That's not fair. I don't want women putting their fingers on you! Quit it!" Ichigo jabbed Grimmjow's cheek and glared.

"Quit what?" he asked innocently and was gifted with a blow to the gut.

"Don't play stupid."

"You quit yours and I will quit mine." Grimmjow muttered hoarsely and took a deep breath. Ichigo pursed his lips and glared.

"No." Ichigo finally said.

"Then the deal is off." Grimmjow said evenly and hissed in shock when Ichigo reached down and grabbed him between the legs.

"It's not your place to refuse." he gave a warning squeeze and Grimmjow dared give a breathless chuckle.

"You wouldn't dare. You know you love the lower part of me more than I do…"

Ichigo glared and moved to straddle Grimmjow on the large bed, the dress shifting up to reveal long pale thighs. Grimmjow groaned at the sinful sight and felt Ichigo cup him between the legs. It didn't take long for the man to become achingly hard, his cock standing tall and proud. A strange feeling of dismay settled over Grimmjow as Ichigo gently set a pillow between his legs, right over his cock.

"There you go, love." Ichigo gave him a sweet smile and jumped off Grimmjow, mindless of his curses and struggling as he pulled out a small gun. "I'm going to go finish my job. Someone in this family has to keep the cash coming and it's going to be me."

Without another word, the fiery carrot top left the room with a deafening bang. Shit.

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Ichigo smiled ash e sauntered into the hallway, hearing the sound of a woman's deafening scream of "oh my god, there's a naked man in my room?"

He gently tapped the small piece of camouflaged throat mic and spoke in a hushed voice. "I need Byakuya to send a copter here now. Target will be dead in about twenty minutes."

Ichigo stepped into the ballroom with a fake smile plastered on his face. Bright eyes scanned the room for the target, his fingers clinched gun in the small handbag he nicked along the way. Tension coiled in his gut like a snake as he moved closer. Akatsuki turned to face Ichigo as he stepped toward him. Ichigo smiled and reached to take his arm. They wandered toward the corridor left of the ballroom and Ichigo tried to keep his smile natural as they passed the dark brunet waiter that was probably Grimmjow's partner.

"My lady, you're the most exquisite woman I have ever met in my life. Therefore I wish that you may accompany me to Italy next week. This is an offer I have never made to anyone before, so please accept my affections for you…" the man in front of Ichigo gave a wan smile and kissed his fingers. Ichigo tried to keep the disgust off his face, trying to concentrate on getting the job done.

"Of course I will accompany you, if you're still alive by the end of today!" faster than the eye could follow, Ichigo pulled the gun out of his bag and pressed it against Akatsuki's temple.

"Pull the trigger, I dare you." the feeling of a cold hard barrel pressed against the side of his head made Ichigo hesitate. Bright blue contacts flickered to the side and he saw the intruder. Black hair was kept in long silky locks flopped stylishly over his forehead and nearly hiding his eyes. Dark emerald green eyes peered at him expressionlessly from under thick black lashes. The man's face was too pale and too empty, his eyes reminding Ichigo of something dead, like a doll. A dark tattoo was visible under the thin dress shirt. Ichigo memorized the black rose automatically and glared at the man. Said man coughed and Ichigo's eyes widened as he saw the brunet waiter stride in.

"In case you were wondering, he's a very fast shooter." the brunet said in a lazy tone, loosening his tie as he stepped closer. He studied Ichigo for a few seconds and clicked his tongue. "First of all, your boss should have given you a little bit more help and maybe a bit more information. Second, I don't see that copter you ordered. Third, are you certain you're working for the right side?"

Ichigo snarled as he tightened his fingers over the gun in his hand, eyes darting toward the nearest exit. They were in the room nearest the drop point, there was no guard rail outside to protect them from the sea.

He took in a deep breath and lashed out with a sharp stiletto and at the same time, ducked his head, shoving Akatsuki toward the pale dark-haired man. There was a gun shot and a fast blur of white and blue as he was knocked backward toward the window, arms wrapping tightly around his slim form. Ichigo barely had time to think as glass shattered with another couple of bullets and then he was plunging down down into the dark water below. As he was falling, Ichigo's eyes met familiar sky blue ones. A strange sense of calm settled over him and he knew, he was safe in those arms.

* * *

Ulquiorra's shoes stepped over the broken glass shards as he moved closer to what was still left of the window. His face was blank as he peered down into the darkness. A few moments later, the sound of a motor starting sliced through the air. The Jet Ski shot out in a wave of foamy water and rapidly became smaller and smaller. Starrk sighed warily as eh joined his coworker by the window.

"Shit." Ulquiorra's voice broke the silence. Starrk turned to him with a raised eyebrow. Ulquiorra felt his pant pocket and his face became stonier, if that was possible.

"What's up?" Starrk asked. There was a moment of silence.

"That stupid cat took my salary."

"You kept all of it in one bag?"

"…yes."

"Shit indeed."

* * *

**Review! =) LOL Ulquiorra's mad...XD *gun loads in background***

**uh oh...gotta go. I'm out of here...peace out dudes!  
**


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